WHO IS BULLYING YOU?

According to research,

1 in 2 people experience bullying at some point before their 20th birthday. And trust me when I say this, I know how difficult it can be to go through it, especially if you don’t fully understand the psychology of bullying.

I have experienced some sort of bullying throughout my life. I never thought of it like that until it became a "thing" to talk about in all the media.

What made me write this today, is hearing one woman speaking to another female co-worker. One of the women is outgoing, bubbly and always cheerful no matter what, and makes people happy just to be around her (she is a good friend of mine). The other woman who is a bit younger, took on a very controlling tone and spoke to her as if she was a child.

This began to bring back many thoughts and memories. All through grade school, junior high and high school this occurred in my life. I THOUGHT that I never let it bug me, but as I went through life it happened no matter what or where I was. Someone in my road band told me I was too nice. I've heard that all my life as well, "You're too nice, people take advantage of you", "you can't say no", "People don't like to see someone happy all the time".... Well, I AM happy all the time! Sorry, not sorry

My family was and IS always supportive of anything I have ever done. They encouraged me to follow my passions. I did and continue to do so.

As a young girl, I was made fun of and teased to the brink because of my thick glasses and body weight. I just went along with it because I didn't know HOW to feel about it.

I have since learned that those are not my "tribe". But believe it or not...bullying from those who are attempting to make me do what they think I should be doing (their way) still happens to me. However, I have learned to recognize it and realize it is NOT me, but it IS them.

Frequently, those who bully others are looking to gain a feeling of power, purpose and control over you. The easiest way of doing this is to focus on something that is unique about you – either preying on, or creating a new insecurity with an intent to hurt you either physically or emotionally. What happens is, we, as the people experiencing bullying, start to internalize it and we become self-critical. We want to understand the reasons why we are being targeted and we start to blame ourselves.

As a result, we try to change or cover up that unique characteristic in order to avoid the bullying. It starts to affect our behavior and the ways in which we see ourselves. That can go on to impact both mental and physical health. Do you see yourself here?

But the way we see bullying is all wrong. It actually isn’t because we are different in some way.

There is so much pressure to live up to beauty and fitness standards. We are taught to compare ourselves to others, instead of embracing our own beauty.

Often it’s used as a defense mechanism and people tend to believe that by bullying others, they will become immune to being bullied themselves.

SO be aware of this when you feel funny about how you are being treated or how someone speaks to you.

Remember it isn't you...

We can change your response to CONFIDENCE!